Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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