your parents love me but you hate me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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