He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
