and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
