Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
