I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize