I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
