Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
