you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
