I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize