Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
