i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
