you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
