dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
