I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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