only if we run a train.
done.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
