how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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