Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
