Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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