I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
