No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
