Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
