home. puking in laundry basket.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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