Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
