I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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