who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
