Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
