why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
