Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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