He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
