I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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