When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
