I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
