She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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