An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize