Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
