pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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