Already got asked if we're dating
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
