I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize