fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
