Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
