jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
