Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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