Non-Jews are for practice
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize