Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
