Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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