i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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