The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
im on a boat
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