Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm at about main and main street
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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