he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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