Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he thought i was a dude.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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