No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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