Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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