The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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