$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
