your parents love me but you hate me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize