Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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