You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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