WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
