she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
