I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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